Coming Soon

By Vanessa Bohns

On Sale: Oct 6, 2026
Page Count: 256 pages
Publisher: Balance
ISBN-13: 9780306835704

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$40.00 CAD

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Should I ask an upset colleague what’s wrong?
Should I tell my bestie the truth when she asks about her new haircut?
Should I tell my boss about my personal struggles?
Should I apologize, even though it wasn’t my fault?
Should I tell my friend her spouse is cheating on her?
Should I tell my classmate I got the job we both applied for?

We all have moments in our daily lives when we wonder not only how to say something, but if we should say it at all. In Should I Say Something? social psychologist and organizational behavior expert Vanessa Bohns explores how to make informed decisions about when to express something and when to keep things to ourselves. Making the case for this vital communication skill, Bohns helps us determine the difference between oversharing and showing appropriate vulnerability, ultimately helping us to find support, feel less alone, and gain perspective.

Grounded in social psychological research, this book serves as a field guide for navigating moments of doubt about whether to say something. Bohns examines common inner conflicts, such as asking ourselves if we should be honest, apologize, or hold back in an interaction. Highly entertaining and eminently practical, Should I Say Something? addresses a modern-day pain point—the fear of being disliked, offending others, or getting cancelled—and offers concrete solutions to help readers avoid “sadfishing,” “success bombing,” “ghosting,” “love bombing,” “trauma dumping,” and more.

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“Should I Say Something? is a wise and generous book that is also deeply useful. Bohns encourages us to push past either-or thinking and to approach our relationships with a long-term view. What I especially love is that she takes human beings seriously – as moral actors, social creatures, and people capable of being both tough and kind."
Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Regret and Drive
“It’s one of those issues we all struggle with at times: should we or shouldn’t we say what’s on our minds? In this deeply researched and incisive book, superstar social psychologist Vanessa Bohns provides us with a gift: a crisply written, science-based guide for deciding when to open our mouths and when to keep them shut. Essential reading.”
Ethan Kross, International Bestselling Author of Chatter and Shift
“Vanessa Bohns is one of our sharpest researchers on the science of social influence — and in Should I Say Something?, she has turned that expertise into a book that is as entertaining as it is indispensable. Her research-backed answers to the dilemmas we all face — ‘Do I share this? Say nothing? Apologize?’ — are both illuminating and immediately actionable. I've already found myself returning to her advice when I'm unsure whether to speak up or stay silent.”
Amy Gallo, author of Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People) and contributing editor at Harvard Business Review
“A must read and rare find, a book that is equal parts comforting and wise. Decisions about whether to speak up and what to say cause anxiety, doubt, and indecision. Fortunately, Bohns gives us the guidance we need in any situation, backed by science and served with a healthy dose of empathy.”
Alison Fragale, Ph.D., organizational psychologist and bestselling author of Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve
“In this deeply compelling and practical book, Vanessa Bohns explores the science of what we should share, what we should keep to ourselves, and how to get smarter about these often consequential decisions. Blending cutting-edge research with counterintuitive tips, Dr. Bohns offers a roadmap for navigating some of the most critical moments in our personal, professional, and everyday lives."
Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, professor of business psychology at University College London and author of Don't Be Yourself: Why Authenticity is Overrated and What to Do Instead
"This book will change how you give feedback, share news, and handle every difficult conversation you've been avoiding. Vanessa Bohns delivers a framework that's both fascinating and truly useful."
Dorie Clark, Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestselling author of The Long Game

Vanessa Bohns

About the Author

Vanessa Bohns, PhD, is a social psychologist, a full tenured professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University, and an award-winning researcher and teacher. She holds a PhD in social psychology from Columbia University and a BA in psychology from Brown University. She is also author of You Have More Influence Than You Think.

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