(NOT) Awakened

“The anti-guru book we all need right now, a no-bs reminder that the power was never in the awakening but in the radical act of claiming every broken, beautiful, shameful part of yourself and saying I got me.”
—Jennifer Pastiloff, bestselling author of On Being Human + Proof of Life

It’s about time somebody said it: the self-help industry can be exhausting. Somehow, we’ve convinced ourselves that the only way to reach our higher self is by meditating every day, curating the perfect, kick-ass morning routine, and filling journal after journal with our manifestations. And while that works for some people, many are left feeling more broken. 

Wellness advocate and shame eradicator Michelle Garside has seen the often-toxic machinery of the wellness industry up close—she spent over a decade as a creative force behind some of the biggest names in personal development, and has been the customer, the retreat goer and the journal filler.  In (NOT) Awakened, Michelle offers a reckoning: rather than chasing a “higher self” we should be owning the parts of ourselves the industry keeps telling us to transcend. The mess. The rage. The appetites. The shame. 

Weaved with Michelle’s laugh-out-loud, heartbreaking, and candid personal stories, (NOT) Awakened will show you that if you think you’ve experienced countless failures in attempt to reach a spiritual awakening, you’re not alone.  The path forward isn’t a better morning routine. It’s giving up on the fantasy that there’s a fixed version of you waiting somewhere and meeting the one you already are. 

• “The exact cliché-smashing truth bomb the ‘self-help’ industry needs (and deserves). (NOT) Awakened is a gripping portal to real self-acceptance, a tsunami of earned insight delivered with searing wit and crystalline, unadulterated honesty. The truth bomb that blows every other ‘self- help’ book right off the shelf. Because, maybe, we’ve been trying to fix something that was never broken to begin with.” 
  Augusten Burroughs, New York Times best-selling author of Running with Scissors
• “Through her radical and raw honesty, Michelle models for us all a doable way to lighten the load of shame we all carry. She embodies the adage: ‘The truth shall set you free!’ You will be as rapt by her story as I was in addition to the entertaining yet poignant way she tells it.”
  Richard C. Schwartz, PhD, New York Times bestselling author and creator of Internal Family Systems
• “This phenomenal book is the perfect antidote to our exhausting Instagram wellness culture, one that has made ‘healing’ a bottomless and expensive item on our to-do list. What Garside offers is nothing short of revolutionary—a step-by-step guide to radical self-acceptance.”
  Nicola Kraus, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Nanny Diaries and The Best We Could Hope For
• “In her remarkable debut, (NOT) Awakened, Michelle Garside managed to have me laughing my ass off while simultaneously breaking my heart. She has a unique voice that resonates with authenticity and vulnerability.”
  Gabby Bernstein, New York Times bestselling author
• “(NOT) Awakened is for those ready to finally stop fixing their lives and start owning their beautiful, messy wholeness.”
  Kris Carr, New York Times bestselling author
• “The wisdom Michelle shares in (NOT) Awakened comes straight from the heart—which, in her case, is bold, open, hilarious, and achingly beautiful.”
  Priscilla Warner, New York Times bestselling author
• “(NOT) Awakened is the anti-guru book we all need right now—a no-bullshit reminder that the power was never in the awakening but in the radical act of claiming every broken, beautiful, shameful part of yourself and saying, ‘I got me.’”
  Jennifer Pastiloff, bestselling author of On Being Human and Proof of Life
• “Heartbreaking, hilarious, and poignant, Michelle proves to us in (NOT) Awakened that only when all parts of us are welcome can we truly feel free.”
  Jessica Ortner, New York Times bestselling author
• “Reclaiming our spiritual authority is the single most critical act of self-love. (NOT) Awakened reminds us that we have all along contained the answers we seek, and that it’s  embodiment—not transcendence—that’s the key.”
  Meggan Watterson, Wall Street Journal bestselling author
• “(NOT) Awakened is absolutely authentic, real, and utterly propulsive. Hooked from page one.”
  Jane Green, New York Times bestselling author
• “This book is a breath of fresh air in a world obsessed with self-improvement. Michelle Garside reminds us that freedom isn’t found in fixing ourselves but in finally telling the truth and embracing our messy, human wholeness. Raw, hilarious, and deeply liberating!”
  Anita Moorjani, New York Times bestselling author
• “In (NOT) Awakened, Michelle Garside writes with the kind of honesty that reminds you about the shameful, unprocessed, still-raw parts of your story—that you are not the obstacle to freedom but the doorway. In an era of spiritual bypassing dressed up as ‘healing,’ this book is genuinely brave. Michelle Garside doesn’t offer transcendence as a kind of escape hatch; she asks you to sit with what actually happened—in its messy and often humiliating form—before you even try to make it mean something. That is not easy to do. She does it anyway.”
  Gina Moffa, LCSW, grief and trauma therapist and author of Moving On Doesn’t Mean Letting Go: A Modern Guide to Navigating Loss