You Suck at Drinking


By Matthew Latkiewicz

Formats and Prices




$12.99 CAD




ebook $9.99 $12.99 CAD

Hey — you there with the cheap chardonnay — you think you know how to drink, but this book will gently lead you to the conclusion that you do, indeed, suck at drinking. It’s time to imbibe correctly, and author Matthew Latkiewicz has compiled this helpful, wryly humorous guide to help you navigate any drinking situation and answer any pedantic questions, including:
* What’s the difference between a flip, a fizz, and a smash?
* What is the official state term for being inebriated in Iowa?
* How do you choose the right drink to suit any occasion?
And much more!

Complete with tons of helpful illustrations and handy graphs, this guide will become indispensable to anyone who no longer wants to — suck at drinking.


  • “At once tipsy-funny and dryly sage: a wonderful wise guide to the ethics and etiquette of drunkardry.”
    —John Hodgman, correspondent on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
    “I've been drinking for twenty years now, but I've never really known what I was doing. What's in a Bloody Mary? I don't know. Is white wine the same thing as red wine? Beats me. Fortunately, Matthew Latkiewicz has written an accessible, responsible guide to the dark art of getting alcohol into your body. Thanks to him I can look forward to many happy years of boozing ahead of me.”
    —David Rees, author of How To Sharpen Pencils
    “The success of Latkiewicz's satire lies in the disarming accuracy of his hilarious portrayal of American drinking customs; he plays with our repressed anxiety about alcohol like a cat torments its prey. Perhaps the only thing we suck at more than drinking, as the title of his handbook suggests, is opening up provocative dialogue about a host of situations in life where sobriety is less than ideal. Thankfully, we have Matthew to get the conversation started.”
    —Jim Meehan, author of The PDT Cocktail Book

On Sale
Apr 7, 2015
Page Count
160 pages
Running Press

Matthew Latkiewicz

About the Author

Matthew Latkiewicz is a monthly columnist for New York Magazine’s Grub Street, where his articles are among the site’s most read, commented upon, and shared. He has also written a wine column for McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, called “Stained Teeth,” and created the entertainment site You Will Not Believe. Through this website, he hosts the popular podcast Not About Wine.

Learn more about this author